ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
