Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
