I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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