What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
high people should be assigned attendants
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
