Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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