Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
