I don't think brook has ever known best
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
