That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
