very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
