only if we run a train.
done.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
