Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
birth control should be required to get into college
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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