found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize