If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
