Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
