I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize