Im at strip club and am horny
North Korea, Best Korea!
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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