If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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