I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
