K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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