please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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