we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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