You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
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I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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