Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
