My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
