Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
zippers are such a cool invention
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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