I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
