why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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