I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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