shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
