i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
