So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
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I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
i out mim tonsoeep
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