I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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