The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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