I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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