You really coming over, don't trick.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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