I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
