whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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