Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
