She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
