In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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