Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize