i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Randomize
