so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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