is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize