That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
My cat gives me a boner
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
