Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
