I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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