Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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