Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
