She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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