Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
