marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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