DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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