got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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