She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
