Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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