the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
